Day 23 in the life

We had our weight check yesterday at 3 weeks and he's still not back up to birthweight.
He was 7 at birth
6lbs, 7 oz when we brought him home (48 hours)
at two weeks he was at 6, 14
and 3 weeks -yesterday 6, 12.

He eats fine, doesnt' fall asleep, no spit up and plenty of wet/muddy diapers - he just REFUSES to gain.He eats plenty...2-4 oz BM every 3-4 hours. I'm back to pumping for the next week so I can write down every darn oz he eats and "prove" to myself and the docs that I have more than enough milk. I have like 12 oz in the freezer and 10 in the fridge that he hasnt' eaten yet. So now I have to supplement an ounce or two of formula after every friggin feeding. And wake him if he's sleeping to eat. - yeah how much do I hate waking a sleeping content baby????!!!!!

it's tough i was in tears leaving the doc yesterday. At least he's eating mine first then taking the formula about 1/2 hour later - we have to FORCE him to eat that though.

He's 19 days old!

And he finally latched no problem!!!!!!!!

After a really rough two days with gassiness and cranky-pantsness I decided at 3 am that this kid was going to get my milk from the tap not from the pump. He went for it! so far he's eaten 3-4 times off the source today with no problems and very little pain on my part.

The first week when I was exclusively breastfeeding he KILLED me - I was in tears he was in tears it was awful. That's when I went to the pump - now my nips are healed (yeah I'm still an oversharer) and he's figured it out and it doesn't hurt bad at all. A little twinge when he first latches but as soon as letdown happens we're all good - no toe curling or anything!

Gas has been less of an issue today as well - I think he was just eating too fast and filling his little belly up with air. So after he eats I pump to get the rest out and I'm starting to finally have some backup milk in the fridge. When Jimmy gets home tonight I'll put it into the freezer bags so it'll last longer and we'll ahve it if we need it OR if we want to go out for the night they'll be some here for him and he won't have to go to formula!

Ok going to try to nap b/c the little man is sleeping.

• So Colin is still not thrilled with breastfeeding but he'll latch everyonce in a while so we're still working on it.
• I'm pumping between 3 and 4 ounces now every 3-4 hours so I know he's getting enought to eat and it's my milk so I'm not going to get neurotic about it.
• He sleeps about 4- 5 hours at night, eats and goes back to sleep for another 3 hours so I'm getting way more sleep than when I was preggo.
• At his 2 week checkup he was almost back to birth weight (7 lbs.) wieghing in a 6, 14 BUT the hospital scale is digital and the peds one is old school so we'll see how he is at weight check this Friday.

Everything else is pretty perfect - the doctor was pleasantly surprised how strong his arms and neck are for such a little guy and after I told him that this is not a 20 hour a day sleeper and he's really active he figured that's maybe why he's slower to gain weight. He just works it off! One small thing was Colin has a clogged tear duct - but now after 2 days of eye cream it's gone - it was just so sad looking all gooky and yucko but the doctor said it's normal and happens to most babies. And to hold onto the cream b/c it'll probably happen again.

My mom went home today so I'll officially be on my own after today because Jim has to go to work whether he wants to or not. I'm a bit scared but I know I can do it - just need to figure out the schedule for laundry and dishes and everything else.

On the me front - at the 12 day mark I was down 25 of the 30 pounds I gained and the swelling disappered! Now I just need to get rid of the last 5 + 30 lbs/ I've gained over the last 5 years and I'll be back where I belong. I have feet and real ankles again - it's completely freaking awesome. I feel pretty good 2+ weeks after the C and I just hav eto remember to take it easy and not push myself too much.Congrats to everyone who's had their LO's!!!

Colin James Morris-the birth story

Colin James Morris
Thursday, 5/1/08, 8:03 am
7 pounds even, 21 inches long
born by C-Section at 40 weeks

My birth story isn't that exciting b/c of the scheduled c-section, the worst part was the catheter insertion b/c this hospital does it BEFORE you go to the OR and get your spinal. But not the worst thing that's ever happened to me.

After I got semi-prepped I walked down to the l&D OR and hopped up on the operating table, the anesthesiologist come in and gave me the spinal while my nurse Michelle hugged me then i got to lay down. My arms got strapped down, they put the sheet up, cleaned my belly and then Jim came in to sit by my head.

The doctors said "you ready? let's go" and started the c/s. I felt some tugging but it was painless and pretty darn cool. Colin was engaged and I apparently was ready to go into labor on my own so there was some pulling to get him out and the 2 docs were joking with me that he was stuck and to just hold on, lol. Then they dis-engaged him and he came out yelling! Dr., Burk started to sing "baby face" to him while the nurse wrapped him up and brought him to our side of the sheet so we could see him. HE was so gorgeous even covered in all kinds of yuck and my heart just stopped with the overwhelming love that filled it for both Colin and Jim.

While they were putting me back together Jim went to the "other side" to watch them measure, weigh and clean Colin up. He was allowed to take pictures at that point which I'm really thrilled about b/c we got him being weighed and such. They gave Jim the tape measure and then he made the mistake of turning around....let's just say there was alot more of me showing then he (or anyone other than a surgeon) should ever see, lol. They brought our still screaming little man back over so I could see him all clean and let me give him a kiss then asked if it was ok to take him to the nursery.


So off Jim and Colin went to the nursery for al the things they do there. I was taken out of the OR about 25 feet to recovery where my nurse Michelle took care of me until Jim came back. Once i was in there for about an hour they brought Colin in along with my mom, dad and sister so I could really meet him. I (other than the professionals) got to be the first one to hold him - they wouldn't let Jim even before I could. Everyone but Jim left and the nursery nurse came in to help me feed him for the first time. He latched on pretty good but I apparently have flat nips so it's a battle we're still fighting.

After another hour or so I could move my legs and toes so I was taken to my real room to settle in for the duration of my stay. They brought me "lunch" of all clears but it was jello and water ice which I promptly threw up. I have reflux (which I've mentioned to death) and I needed bread or something NOT sugary but it would be Friday mornign before the hospital ok'd that. Jim went out and got me a cinnamon bun from Wawa around 8 that night which I scarfed and kept down so they gave in the next morning on the food thing. I spent the day amazed at this little boy we made together and trying to bf then everyone came back later to visit after Colin and I had a chance to rest after our big morning.

Friday at 6 they took the cath out and I started walking around no problem (kinda shocked the nurses) the LC came in a bit later and that's when we found out his left latch was not good and that's why I was hurting. By Saturday morning I was pacing the halls and begging for the doc to come in for rounds so I could go home. :) Around 3 she finally showed and said there was no reason for me or Colin to stay so we could go as soon as the discharge instruction for me and him were given. We got home about 5pm and went right to the couch to great Finnegan and Pooka - who wanted NOTHING to do with the "creature that makes noise".

I had an easy delivery b/c of the section and I'm getting around no problem, get tired but it's to be expected, and I have to say a c-section is WAY easier than knee surgery. I'm almost completely off the pain meds - the only time I take one is if my hip of knee acts up.
So today is his 14th day on earth and he'll be 2 weeks old tomorrow! I know I'm not going to want to go back to work on July 28th but I think I just found a great in home daycare that we may actually be able to afford. It's close enough to work 8-10 minutes that I can go over at my lunch to feed him and hang out with him for a little during the day.

We're pretty much a breastmilk only baby, Colin has had formula a few times b/c I just didn't have enough to fill him (at least we didn't think so) and I'm pumping mainly b/c he had a crappy latch that wasn't corrected before the left balloon got a bit tramutized. He still eats great on the right so I don't think he'll have any confusion once I heal enough to handle the "pain". As long as he's getting it some way I'm happy and we'll keep working until we get it right.

Colin sleeps about 5 hours at night and is a pretty content little guy. He loves to be held (who doesn't?) and really likes his bouncy and a toy giraffe daddy bought him. Mom's here until this Sunday and then I'll be on my own but I think I can handle it. We've been aout a few times now and he's an angel - I really couldn't have prayed for a better behaved baby!

We went and had Sears pictures done on Sunday so here's a few of them!

This is the one I used for his birth announcement


Mommy, Daddy & Colin


Colin and his giraffe, Geffrey


I'm ready for this whole picture thing to be over

Tomorrow we become parents!

So with the impending birth of our son, I figured I should put on record how Jim and I came to be. It's a little long and kinda sappy - but it's one hell of a story if I do say so myself. ;)

Over 2 years ago this guy started in one of our parts departments and we became really good friends, he kept asking why I dated such losers, I asked him why he stayed in his relationship with someone 17 years senior when he didn't seem all that happy. We would discuss everything under the sun and became really close but nothing was going on. He started talking about leaving his "safety" and had gotten preapproved for a mortgage and was looking at houses. They had talked about it and were trying to make things work but it wasn't going well.

When I bought this house in Oct. '06 he helped me move along with everyone else and actually stuck around for when we had fun afterwards. My mom kept saying "why can't you date someone like him" over and over and over. I kept saying "because he's taken".

A few months later I had the big knee surgery and was home for 3 months. We emailed back and forth and I realized how much I missed seeing him everyday but never said anything. I went back to work in the middle of May and I kept asking him to go to happy hour and he kept asking me to go fishing down the beach. (jim is a HUGE fisherman - makes his own rods and lures and there's a demand for them) btw - I dont' fish.

Well a few weeks later when he asked me to go down the beach with him I went very spur of the moment (not like me at all). I still wasn't walking too good but figured it was now or never. Things had gotten worse at home and he was looking at houses again.

That was Thursday, June 7th.

I sat on the jetty while he fished, watched the sun set, then he decided we should grab dinner at this bar there. So we packed everything up got back in the truck to drive off the beach and while sitting in the truck he told me how much he had missed me while we I was on leave and he didn't want to have to miss me anymore. I didn't get it. So he said - I think I've fallen for you and that you feel the same way and that he was leaving T. And that he really wanted to kiss me.

I wouldn't let him.

So we went to eat while I processed it. When we got back to my truck an hour away I finally did kiss him and knew that I was done. We decided over the next week that we really had fallen in love with each other without even trying.

My parents were coming in for a week for a wedding and my Godson's Christening so we said we'd wait and he'd move in when they left. I had a big BBQ on the 23rd for my sister's birthday and he came and never went home. My folks were in my room, I was in the guest room and he slept on the couch.

On the 24th the family was all going on a bus trip to the track so I wasn't going to see him that day. He came up in the morning around 7am, said he was going back and if I didn't mind he couldn't do this to him, T and me anymore. I was not awake and started crying. Jimmy realized I once again I didn't get it. He said i'm going home to end things for good and if you dont' mind when you all get back I'll be here for good. (my cousin was living here at the time so he helped him move in while we were gone) I was petrified to tell my dad so I didn't - they were staying at my sisters' that night & leaving in the morning so I didn't have to. But I told mom and she was thrilled.

It wasn't the thing movies are made of but somehow after all this time I had finally met my match and we were going to make it work.

T forgave him and knew it was coming whether I was in the picture or not. Because of their age difference she said she knew it was going to happen eventually and had prepared for it. And wished us both happiness. Now almost a year later she's happy for Jim that he's going to be a dad and can't wait to meet the baby. She thinks what we have is what he'd been looking for all these years and even though the situation kinda sucked for her she is happy for us. I dont' know if I could be a kind as she has been and I'm grateful that there's no annimosity.

We haven't gotten married yet - maybe one day we will. Maybe we won't. I NEVER thought I'd be ok with that (really Catholic) but after the first marriage of horror and the life of love and kindness I have now I wouldn't want things to have gone any differently.

Tomorrow morning we complete the circle we started almost a year ago. I've never been this happy in my whole life and every day is better than the day before. I never thought I'd get this life, no matter how much i wanted it. I am grateful everyday that I took a chance last June and went fishing and can't wait to see what the next 40 or 50 years brings.

36 weeks, 6 days - L&D trip

I stayed home to work from the couch today b/c my hips and knee were acting up again. Around 1pm I got ridiculously cold and couldn't warm up took my temp and it was 96.5 and I got a wee bit worried b/c I was shaking, and a bit "fuzzy". I laid down and went under the blankets.

An hour later I wasn't feeling better and my temp was still low so I called the OB nurse at my doctors and left a message. They called back about 2:45 and asked if I was still cold and if Colin was moving. He wasn't moving around, temp was still low and I was getting scared. She told me to have OJ and to get under as many blankets as I could and to call back in an hour if he still wans't moving.

Well by 3:40 Colin still wasn't moving after 36 ounces of OJ (makes me so sick but it's worth it to get him moving) so they sent me to L & D. Jim came home and took me over and by 4:30 I was hooked up and Colin's heart was beating away and they said he was fine - I stayed until 6 and the conclusion was I'm proably getting sick (reason for the temp.) and he's out of room so I have to pay really close attention to him to make sure he moves. It doesn't help that he's butt out so i dont' feel the feet and hand movements much.

So pretty much the little bugger is lazy - Hopefully it means he'll sleep throught he night, lol!

He scared the heck out of us today - I never want to go through it again. I was crying waiting for Jimmy to get home and he was pretty shaken but didn't let on until we were home safe and knew everything was ok.

At least I got to chill in the nice L&D. i probably won't get that experience b/c of the C.

Big news @ 36 weeks, 5 days

I started my weekly appts today (woo-hoo- strep B test and a cervical check) and When i went to put my left leg up I had to use my arms to get it up there. FINALLY a doctor realized that my knee and hip joints aren't going to withstand the whole labor process. He was asking how I thought I could go through labor and I said I had told them each appt that I had bad knee/hip problems but no one seemed worried about it but me so I figured they were the experts and probably had some sort of plan. It's a huge practice so you see someone different every time and this doctor was very surprised no one else had seen my "issues" as a concern.

So I had 2 options - try to see if I can do it the old-fashioned way and they'd try to figure out some way to get my leg how it needs to be without hurting me OR do the elective C section. I chose the C section because after hearing from my orthopedic surgeon and the OB (and knowing what I can and can't do physically) it's pretty much a given that I don't have the strength in my leg to use it as leverage when it comes time to deliver. If it has a hard time getting me up the stairs...it's not going to put up with that kind of pressure.

I figure this way come hell or high water on May 1st – we’re going to have our little guy! )

33 weeks - exactly.

I'm tired. Could it be becuase I don't sleep? Yeah-that could definately be it. Don't tell me it's "preparation" b/c that's bullshit. I'm pretty confident that after Colin comes I'll sleep more than 30-45 minutes at a time, I'd be thrilled with 2 hours right now and that's what I'm hoping for after he's born.

My hip pain that I had before the last knee surgery is back with a vengence. I've been told that I have osteoarthritis in both hips, the left being worse than the right. It usually stays at bay unless I'm walking funny - and is there a pregnant woman that DOESN'T walk funny? I'm limping a bit again to take the pressure off of my left knee and doing the pg waddle - so I look doubly dumb. lol

The knee brace is "kinda" working. It doesn't stay in place too well but I don't know if it's because of my fat leg or because of the ridiculous swelling. Either way it's a pain in the ass b/c it doesn't stay put and I have to keep going to the bathroom at work to take my pants off to put the stupid brace back where it belongs. Luckily I have to pee alot so I can kill both birds with the same stone. :)

So that's why I'm not sleeping. I can't lay on my back b/c the booger is too heavy now, I can't lay on my tummy (how I love to sleep) b/c the little booger had made my tummy resemble a bowling ball and sleeping on either side iritates the shit out of my hips after 30-45 minutes. I call my new sleeping stlye "basting myself" I wake up and flop myself over to the other side every half hour-ish.

Try to picture it - I'm in shorts and a tank top (which obviously no longer fit properly), the fan is raging, pretty much no covers, sleeping on a variety of pillows to prop myself in a semi-comfortable position and then I wake up. (Yes it's still hovering around 30-35 at night here and the heat is on 62. Yes I'm still the one who needed 4 blankets at a minimum to keep warm for the last 30 some years. Yes I'm a freaking furnace and it's annoying)

• I wake up with the thought of "please God let it have been at least an hour since I had to do this" but it's usually only been about 45 minutes...tops.
• I pray that I am not awake to realize I probably have to pee and start the flopping process.
• I begin my sticking the leg oppostite to the way Iwant to go up in the air "for leverage"
• I then fling my leg in the direction I want to go, realizing that Jim has moved onto my side of the bed so I am about to land on him. What really happens is I bounce right back to where i started.
• So I nudge him "gently" and tell him to move so I can do the whole thing over again.
• I finally get on my other side and reprop myself with the aforementioned pillows and attempt to convince myself I'm comfortable and to go back to sleep.
• It's ususally about this time I realize that I need to pee and have to get myself out of bed, stumble to the bathroom and start this process of comfort finding all over.

Why do people lie and say pregnancy is "wonderful"?

30 Weeks, 5 days

So I'm getting big - really big - and I'm just going to get bigger before it's all over. I'm really trying to enjoy these last 10 weeks or so because it's highly doubtful we'll do this again.

I've gotten to the fun part at least..people defiantely know I'm pregnant instead of thinking I'm a drunk girl with a beer belly....Colin kicks and moves and wiggles alot now and Jim can feel him move which is even better. I love sharing this with him, I'm so glad we found each other and are building this little family together.

The not so fun part is here too, it's getting harder to get out of bed every hour to pee (which I've sadly gotten used to), it's apparently like a comedy routine to watch me try to put socks on, my heartburn is worse than it's ever been and the constant back strain from the belly and boob growth is a bit much.

The REALLY not fun part is approaching quickly...I can't say I'm looking forward to labor - who in their right mind does?

Whether it's fun, not so much, or not at all I know this will be worth it in a few weeks and I'm not sleeping and forget to shower because I'm completely wrapped around the cutest baby boy on earth.

14 weeks, 5 days

So for those of you who don't know - or who just haven't put two and two together, Jimmy and I are thrilled (and scared to death) that we will have a new person that we are solely responsibile for on or around May 1st.

Yes people - the one who everyone thought would never have 2 legged, furless children is almost 4 months into growing a baby. I know - shut your mouths and stop gaping - we were happy and mildly surprised when we found out. Only mildly b/c neither one of us thought it would happen - hell you don't usually make it this far in life, especially having been married, and not have at least one of the little tricycle motors around - so we didn't really think much about it, and here we are four months later watching me grow bigger every day.

So far I have spent most of my time vomiting and sleeping. I have snuck into an unused office in the afternoon to nap for 30 minutes when I just couldn't stay awake any longer, I have sadly thrown up in my trashcan, I gave up buttoning my pants at about 9 weeks and have offically been in maternity clothes for a month.

It has been such an enjoyable 14+ weeks (not really.) Sure the whole "wow, I'm growing a person" thing is cool - really cool - but this baby is kicking.my.ass. Those people who say the second trimester is easier are LIARS! Sure it's a tad easier now - I only pass out cold at 6pm twice a week now, I've actually started to keep food other than beef and potatoes down but easier really needs to be taken into context.

The second tri is still not full of energy, non-gagging, or lack of food aversions. I still hate the smell of garlic, much to Jim's chagrin, and apparently the baby doesn't like soup or most veggies and has a serious dislike for fruit. I've only gained 4 pounds, maybe 5, which considering my high carb, no healthy anything diet is a freaking miracle, lol.

So that's the big news. We've heard the heartbeat twice, had our first ultrasound and the blob was very cute (we could be biased of course) and our "big" ultrasound is December 4th. So you can all start shopping then for gender specific items, ha ha.