An interesting question

On one of the many forums I'm addicted to someone asked the question:
"As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? Did you end up with that career?"
It really made me think and this was my answer. It's rare that a question so simple can make you think this deep.

Wow - when i was very little I wanted to be a doctor. Or a garbage man. My dad had a heart attack, lol. In retrospect, the garbage men around here probably make more than the doctors these days. When I was in grade school it was the general assumption that I'd become a nun. And honestly for a long time I believe it was my calling. Sometimes I think that's why I've struggled so much to find my "place". If something were to happen to Jim and Colin i would probably reconsider it.

I always wanted to be a mom and I wanted to be a teacher. The mom part finally happened - before as many who know me said - I was a whole different kind of "mother". The teacher part - I was in college and that was my "main" major - Art Ed. - but something very bad happened the beginning of my junior year and I had to leave. So that particular dream went away.

Right now i'm an inventory analyst. it's fun b/c I'm a numbers dork and sometimes I get weird ass projects that let me be creative. I miss my art - and I miss learning for "fun" but this vaguely pays the bills and I'm good at it. My life is one big excel spreadsheet at this point. boring - but you can make it pretty colors.

the welfare "myth"

I needed a pepper for dinner yeaterday so i went up to the store to get one. I needed one freaking pepper but in every line there's 5-7 people with huge orders. At the very end there were only 2 people in line so I obviously went there. It was a lady with a HUGE order - an old man in his Phillies gear with like 4 things - and me with my pepper. The lady huffed and puffed the whole time (our cashier wasn't the fastest and appeared a bit disabled), then was annoyed to bag her own stuff, so when she went to pay she grabs her wallet out of her purse and in my head I said "oh pretty" and she paid with her ACCESS card. I then (b/c I'm judgemental) checked out the purse. It was plain beige leather with the COACH stuff embossed on it. After she paid she says - "oh this is wrong (like 5 things) I have to exchange it for the other kind."

My vent. you are carrying a $300 purse.

• Pay for your own &^%$&^ groceries. I don't want to hear the "it was a gift" b/c if in my budgeted situation someone said here's a coach purse I'd say to myself "must return" for 30 useful things.
• I'm pretty sure she used her card for the item that's covered and then went and got things that were similar but not covered. Is that possible? I don't get assistance so I have no clue how it works.

This happens to us every time we go to the store. Our neighborhood is mixed of working blue collar and scum. (yes I know for a fact they are scum - if you'd like "proof" come visit)

To defend my rant:

1. I'm not perpetuating the "welfare" myth - i witness this, as do my other working neighbors, and it's true.
2. Feel free to come live next door to the drug dealer on SOCIAL SECURITY at 26

Then judge me for being angry I pay 4.3% city wage tax to fund Philadelphia's "programs" while I witness them being taken advantage of. It pisses me off that there are people I know who are on waiting lists for some of the aforementioned programs b/c there isn't enough space yet they need the help. Or the elderly who worked for 50 years but just can't keep up with the rising gas costs to heat their homes can not get help b/c "the liars" get what they do not deserve.

End rant. I feel much better now.

Wow - it's been awhile

There's been lots going on here. Last weekend we did make it down the shore for the Irish Fall Festival - it was so nice to see all the people from my former life of drinking and fun and being up at 6am b/c of an ongoing poker game not because I went to bed at 9pm and had to get up with the baby :)

Colin was a HUGE hit with everyone - he's such a happy baby and so darn adorable. I swear he knows when people tell him he's cute - he lets our this huge grin and chuckle - like "I've got you so wrapped around my finger" it's a hoot.

Last week was busy as usual with work and trying to keep up with everything. As of yesterday I threw in the towel - I managed to get our bedroom cleaned up and DH started the laundry but as per usual - nothing else got done. So I gave up and took a sick day today. I not feeling great anyway - my tummy is not happy (usually gets this way from stress) so I'm home and I'm going to clean my as$ off today.

I need to pack up all of Colin's 0-3 clothes in summer/winter boxes - they're going to different friends - get out all the 6-9 and go through the 7 bags/boxes of stuff I got from my girlfriend a few weeks ago (stuff goes to 2T!). Then I'm going to clean up the craft room that we just finished and wind more yarn so it's all neatly put away. In between I'll finish the laundry and put it away maybe make some cookies and make meatloaf for dinner. I know it's daunting but this needs to all get done and I have a whole day to get it done.

Jimmy took Colin to the sitters b/c we have to pay for the day anyway - I'm already sad that I'm home and he's not but if he was here I'd play and snuggle all day and not get anything done!

Colin got a J O B!

So Colin went to work with me on Thursday b/c the babysitter had to have some tests done and couldn't watch him. My boos/department is laid back and in a back corner so we "hid" him out :) No one even knew he was there! He was so good!!!!

This was important b/c it means I've proven I can get a full days work done when I have possession of my child and now if the sitter can't work one day I can work from home and my boss won't have to defend it :)

So here's the long awaited pics including the ones I said I'd show of my pumping setup :)
the black curtained cube is mine....

What you see when you enter the "doorway"

what the sign on the curtain says

My desk - messy messy - complete with family/Colin shrine :)

Colin sleeping under aforementioned desk

and a closeup....


And then a bonus pic of his first tubby bath in the ducky

The shit DID hit the fan

So an email came down for the powers at be at work that all hiring and salaried employees' raises are frozen as of 8/15 until further notice. Plus, we should deal with it b/c we get bonuses at year's end based on company performance. - Yep so pretty much "suck it up and deal" Hourlies are still getting increases. I completely understand that the economy is in the shitter but it's the no warning of this coming that really gets me fired up. At least if people would have known the possibility they could have been better prepared. Getting blindsided by it hurts more.

I'm technically overhead so there's nothing I can do to drive my bonus - it's based off all of our companies performance -all 4 of them. yay. I've never had a bonus over $1200 (before tax and it's taxed at 42%). let's just say that wouldn't even be a 3% cost of living increase. There's some really pissed off people in our company today.

My eval was due while I was on maternity leave - my boss and I were told that as long as we get it completed by Friday I may still get something. Next month they'll tell us how much the health insurance is going up (last year was $70 a month for single).

But we our course all make too much for assistance - so we'll clear 10% less, cost of living will go up 3-8% and they wonder why people are in more credit card debt than ever before. hmmm....

Colin's doing great! Up to almost 13 pounds and over 24 inches. I miss him so much during the day. He's such a happy little guy - I hate that I'm missing so much of his day to work at a job where this kid of crap is going on.

Back to work

If had trouble keeping up when I was when I was home for 13 weeks how in the name of all that is holy am I supposed to keep up with everything now?

We're gone from 6:30/6:45a to 5p - then it's dinner (jim cooks - I pump), dinner cleanup, cleanup from the crap I cart with me to work and daycare (bottles-pump-lunch). Then it's Colin's bedtime. When we come back down I've already laid his clothes and mine out for the next day, then it's lunch, daycare, pump and bottle bag packing time. I sit down here at the computer to do my last pump of the night and I'm lucky if I get to bed before 11 and it starts all over again at 5am. Some mornings I don't get to shower (twice so far) b/c it took too long to pump or Jimm took too long or the dishwasher needed to be emptied to get the bottles for the day (this morning's "no shower" reason)

This past weekend went faster than any in my whole life. Jim took Colin over to NJ to go to this farm he likes for veggies and esp. corn - they were gone 2.5 hours so I got the whole upstairs cleaned and 3 loads of laundry done. Sunday there were still 3 loads to do (oops - there's still towels in the dryer and it's Tuesday) The kitchen and Living room (that's the whole first floor btw) are still gross. I hoping I can do one floor one weekend and the other the next one. But if something goes on and we have two "events" in one weekend I'm screwed. Also - and this is my biggest issue - it took 2.5 hours I would have spent with my son who I don't' get much time with during the week to even think about getting all that done.


A cleaning person is out of the question. I had to borrow from savings to pay for daycare this week.

Man the boy is getting big!

Ok so when Colin was 1 month I said we were doing the onesie project to track his weight and growth which means...I'm decorating a onesie each month with his stats and taking his picture.

well here is one month


And here is two months! it's the same size onesie - 0-3 mo.(it was a two pack so it's the same brand too) Actually he was 23 1/4 according to the doctor but we measured differently I guess!

And bonus pics...Nursery that I never posted



Tie dye baby!


With mommy! (6-15-08 )


And bumbo baby (It's never on the table - but i was sitting right with him and we were playing and he was so cute I took the pic and sat right back down)

Wow - almost 2 months

So I've been sorely lacking in the posting but it's been busy as all get out.

First we'll start with a wonder baby update:

• As of Thurday, at 8 weeks, Mr. I can't gain weight is now at 10 pounds, 11 ounces! He's doing really well in the weight gain department and I can finally let him sleep as long as he wants b/c he's gaining weight no problem.
• This week we have our two month appointment and he gets his first round of shots - it'll be harder on me than on him I'm sure.
• He was dipped and exorcised last Sunday so he's offically Catholic! (shush - it's a good thing)

On the us front:

• Like I said we were married on the 20th - it's been one hell of a first week.
• We had a surprise party to go to for our good friend and neighbor on Saturday,
• the baptism on Sunday
• I woke up about 2am with the stomach flu on Sunday/Monday morning and was in bed for two days with a 102 temp.
• My MIL got it when I started to feel better
• We went down the shore for 20 hours this weekend.

I'm exhausted.

We're Married!

Who would've guessed????

Colin has an announcement to make:

I found a cute little wedding chapel that is both nice and cheap. :) We decided last week that we should just go ahead and get married - mostly everyone assumes we are anyway. It'll be June 20th @ 8:30pm - two days before Colin's Baptism. We figure what the hell we're staying together anyway - let's get it all done when everyone is here :) Both sets of parents will be here for the Baptism and we have no idea when everyone may be here again at the same time so it's both convenient and affordable - two things Jim and I love almost as much as each other...plus there's the "love each other forever" crap, lol.

Here's some bonus Colin pictures - just cause he's so damn cute....

From the Mulvey's (I really didn't buy this!)

and I hate baths

But I love my bouncer