Tomorrow we become parents!

So with the impending birth of our son, I figured I should put on record how Jim and I came to be. It's a little long and kinda sappy - but it's one hell of a story if I do say so myself. ;)

Over 2 years ago this guy started in one of our parts departments and we became really good friends, he kept asking why I dated such losers, I asked him why he stayed in his relationship with someone 17 years senior when he didn't seem all that happy. We would discuss everything under the sun and became really close but nothing was going on. He started talking about leaving his "safety" and had gotten preapproved for a mortgage and was looking at houses. They had talked about it and were trying to make things work but it wasn't going well.

When I bought this house in Oct. '06 he helped me move along with everyone else and actually stuck around for when we had fun afterwards. My mom kept saying "why can't you date someone like him" over and over and over. I kept saying "because he's taken".

A few months later I had the big knee surgery and was home for 3 months. We emailed back and forth and I realized how much I missed seeing him everyday but never said anything. I went back to work in the middle of May and I kept asking him to go to happy hour and he kept asking me to go fishing down the beach. (jim is a HUGE fisherman - makes his own rods and lures and there's a demand for them) btw - I dont' fish.

Well a few weeks later when he asked me to go down the beach with him I went very spur of the moment (not like me at all). I still wasn't walking too good but figured it was now or never. Things had gotten worse at home and he was looking at houses again.

That was Thursday, June 7th.

I sat on the jetty while he fished, watched the sun set, then he decided we should grab dinner at this bar there. So we packed everything up got back in the truck to drive off the beach and while sitting in the truck he told me how much he had missed me while we I was on leave and he didn't want to have to miss me anymore. I didn't get it. So he said - I think I've fallen for you and that you feel the same way and that he was leaving T. And that he really wanted to kiss me.

I wouldn't let him.

So we went to eat while I processed it. When we got back to my truck an hour away I finally did kiss him and knew that I was done. We decided over the next week that we really had fallen in love with each other without even trying.

My parents were coming in for a week for a wedding and my Godson's Christening so we said we'd wait and he'd move in when they left. I had a big BBQ on the 23rd for my sister's birthday and he came and never went home. My folks were in my room, I was in the guest room and he slept on the couch.

On the 24th the family was all going on a bus trip to the track so I wasn't going to see him that day. He came up in the morning around 7am, said he was going back and if I didn't mind he couldn't do this to him, T and me anymore. I was not awake and started crying. Jimmy realized I once again I didn't get it. He said i'm going home to end things for good and if you dont' mind when you all get back I'll be here for good. (my cousin was living here at the time so he helped him move in while we were gone) I was petrified to tell my dad so I didn't - they were staying at my sisters' that night & leaving in the morning so I didn't have to. But I told mom and she was thrilled.

It wasn't the thing movies are made of but somehow after all this time I had finally met my match and we were going to make it work.

T forgave him and knew it was coming whether I was in the picture or not. Because of their age difference she said she knew it was going to happen eventually and had prepared for it. And wished us both happiness. Now almost a year later she's happy for Jim that he's going to be a dad and can't wait to meet the baby. She thinks what we have is what he'd been looking for all these years and even though the situation kinda sucked for her she is happy for us. I dont' know if I could be a kind as she has been and I'm grateful that there's no annimosity.

We haven't gotten married yet - maybe one day we will. Maybe we won't. I NEVER thought I'd be ok with that (really Catholic) but after the first marriage of horror and the life of love and kindness I have now I wouldn't want things to have gone any differently.

Tomorrow morning we complete the circle we started almost a year ago. I've never been this happy in my whole life and every day is better than the day before. I never thought I'd get this life, no matter how much i wanted it. I am grateful everyday that I took a chance last June and went fishing and can't wait to see what the next 40 or 50 years brings.

36 weeks, 6 days - L&D trip

I stayed home to work from the couch today b/c my hips and knee were acting up again. Around 1pm I got ridiculously cold and couldn't warm up took my temp and it was 96.5 and I got a wee bit worried b/c I was shaking, and a bit "fuzzy". I laid down and went under the blankets.

An hour later I wasn't feeling better and my temp was still low so I called the OB nurse at my doctors and left a message. They called back about 2:45 and asked if I was still cold and if Colin was moving. He wasn't moving around, temp was still low and I was getting scared. She told me to have OJ and to get under as many blankets as I could and to call back in an hour if he still wans't moving.

Well by 3:40 Colin still wasn't moving after 36 ounces of OJ (makes me so sick but it's worth it to get him moving) so they sent me to L & D. Jim came home and took me over and by 4:30 I was hooked up and Colin's heart was beating away and they said he was fine - I stayed until 6 and the conclusion was I'm proably getting sick (reason for the temp.) and he's out of room so I have to pay really close attention to him to make sure he moves. It doesn't help that he's butt out so i dont' feel the feet and hand movements much.

So pretty much the little bugger is lazy - Hopefully it means he'll sleep throught he night, lol!

He scared the heck out of us today - I never want to go through it again. I was crying waiting for Jimmy to get home and he was pretty shaken but didn't let on until we were home safe and knew everything was ok.

At least I got to chill in the nice L&D. i probably won't get that experience b/c of the C.

Big news @ 36 weeks, 5 days

I started my weekly appts today (woo-hoo- strep B test and a cervical check) and When i went to put my left leg up I had to use my arms to get it up there. FINALLY a doctor realized that my knee and hip joints aren't going to withstand the whole labor process. He was asking how I thought I could go through labor and I said I had told them each appt that I had bad knee/hip problems but no one seemed worried about it but me so I figured they were the experts and probably had some sort of plan. It's a huge practice so you see someone different every time and this doctor was very surprised no one else had seen my "issues" as a concern.

So I had 2 options - try to see if I can do it the old-fashioned way and they'd try to figure out some way to get my leg how it needs to be without hurting me OR do the elective C section. I chose the C section because after hearing from my orthopedic surgeon and the OB (and knowing what I can and can't do physically) it's pretty much a given that I don't have the strength in my leg to use it as leverage when it comes time to deliver. If it has a hard time getting me up the stairs...it's not going to put up with that kind of pressure.

I figure this way come hell or high water on May 1st – we’re going to have our little guy! )