33 weeks - exactly.

I'm tired. Could it be becuase I don't sleep? Yeah-that could definately be it. Don't tell me it's "preparation" b/c that's bullshit. I'm pretty confident that after Colin comes I'll sleep more than 30-45 minutes at a time, I'd be thrilled with 2 hours right now and that's what I'm hoping for after he's born.

My hip pain that I had before the last knee surgery is back with a vengence. I've been told that I have osteoarthritis in both hips, the left being worse than the right. It usually stays at bay unless I'm walking funny - and is there a pregnant woman that DOESN'T walk funny? I'm limping a bit again to take the pressure off of my left knee and doing the pg waddle - so I look doubly dumb. lol

The knee brace is "kinda" working. It doesn't stay in place too well but I don't know if it's because of my fat leg or because of the ridiculous swelling. Either way it's a pain in the ass b/c it doesn't stay put and I have to keep going to the bathroom at work to take my pants off to put the stupid brace back where it belongs. Luckily I have to pee alot so I can kill both birds with the same stone. :)

So that's why I'm not sleeping. I can't lay on my back b/c the booger is too heavy now, I can't lay on my tummy (how I love to sleep) b/c the little booger had made my tummy resemble a bowling ball and sleeping on either side iritates the shit out of my hips after 30-45 minutes. I call my new sleeping stlye "basting myself" I wake up and flop myself over to the other side every half hour-ish.

Try to picture it - I'm in shorts and a tank top (which obviously no longer fit properly), the fan is raging, pretty much no covers, sleeping on a variety of pillows to prop myself in a semi-comfortable position and then I wake up. (Yes it's still hovering around 30-35 at night here and the heat is on 62. Yes I'm still the one who needed 4 blankets at a minimum to keep warm for the last 30 some years. Yes I'm a freaking furnace and it's annoying)

• I wake up with the thought of "please God let it have been at least an hour since I had to do this" but it's usually only been about 45 minutes...tops.
• I pray that I am not awake to realize I probably have to pee and start the flopping process.
• I begin my sticking the leg oppostite to the way Iwant to go up in the air "for leverage"
• I then fling my leg in the direction I want to go, realizing that Jim has moved onto my side of the bed so I am about to land on him. What really happens is I bounce right back to where i started.
• So I nudge him "gently" and tell him to move so I can do the whole thing over again.
• I finally get on my other side and reprop myself with the aforementioned pillows and attempt to convince myself I'm comfortable and to go back to sleep.
• It's ususally about this time I realize that I need to pee and have to get myself out of bed, stumble to the bathroom and start this process of comfort finding all over.

Why do people lie and say pregnancy is "wonderful"?

30 Weeks, 5 days

So I'm getting big - really big - and I'm just going to get bigger before it's all over. I'm really trying to enjoy these last 10 weeks or so because it's highly doubtful we'll do this again.

I've gotten to the fun part at least..people defiantely know I'm pregnant instead of thinking I'm a drunk girl with a beer belly....Colin kicks and moves and wiggles alot now and Jim can feel him move which is even better. I love sharing this with him, I'm so glad we found each other and are building this little family together.

The not so fun part is here too, it's getting harder to get out of bed every hour to pee (which I've sadly gotten used to), it's apparently like a comedy routine to watch me try to put socks on, my heartburn is worse than it's ever been and the constant back strain from the belly and boob growth is a bit much.

The REALLY not fun part is approaching quickly...I can't say I'm looking forward to labor - who in their right mind does?

Whether it's fun, not so much, or not at all I know this will be worth it in a few weeks and I'm not sleeping and forget to shower because I'm completely wrapped around the cutest baby boy on earth.

14 weeks, 5 days

So for those of you who don't know - or who just haven't put two and two together, Jimmy and I are thrilled (and scared to death) that we will have a new person that we are solely responsibile for on or around May 1st.

Yes people - the one who everyone thought would never have 2 legged, furless children is almost 4 months into growing a baby. I know - shut your mouths and stop gaping - we were happy and mildly surprised when we found out. Only mildly b/c neither one of us thought it would happen - hell you don't usually make it this far in life, especially having been married, and not have at least one of the little tricycle motors around - so we didn't really think much about it, and here we are four months later watching me grow bigger every day.

So far I have spent most of my time vomiting and sleeping. I have snuck into an unused office in the afternoon to nap for 30 minutes when I just couldn't stay awake any longer, I have sadly thrown up in my trashcan, I gave up buttoning my pants at about 9 weeks and have offically been in maternity clothes for a month.

It has been such an enjoyable 14+ weeks (not really.) Sure the whole "wow, I'm growing a person" thing is cool - really cool - but this baby is kicking.my.ass. Those people who say the second trimester is easier are LIARS! Sure it's a tad easier now - I only pass out cold at 6pm twice a week now, I've actually started to keep food other than beef and potatoes down but easier really needs to be taken into context.

The second tri is still not full of energy, non-gagging, or lack of food aversions. I still hate the smell of garlic, much to Jim's chagrin, and apparently the baby doesn't like soup or most veggies and has a serious dislike for fruit. I've only gained 4 pounds, maybe 5, which considering my high carb, no healthy anything diet is a freaking miracle, lol.

So that's the big news. We've heard the heartbeat twice, had our first ultrasound and the blob was very cute (we could be biased of course) and our "big" ultrasound is December 4th. So you can all start shopping then for gender specific items, ha ha.

a weekend ALONE!

So Jim and I and the dogs (of course) went down the shore to North Wildwood to my aunt and uncle's house. My Uncle Jim is pretty sick - he's had cancer for about 18 months off and on now and it's metastasized to his liver. He's pretty amazing though - every time the doctors think it's getting worse he seems to get better so who knows what the future will bring. I wanted to #1 go see him while he's still doing ok and #2 to go to the beach.

Friday we got there about 6 - visited with them for a while and went to dinner @ Owen's around the corner. Great dinner - very reasonable food AND beer wise. Nice portions - nice prices. Came back to the house and visited some more before going up stairs to the apartment and watching the fireworks off the balcony and going to bed.

Well Saturday morning my aunt was hollering up the stairs for me. When I went outside she was rally upset and asked me to come downstairs to where they live. I took one look at Uncle Jim and knew it was not good. His left leg was really swollen and discolored, he seemed to be in unbelievable pain, and he was grey. I asked my Jim what he thought and we confirmed Aunt Joan's suspicion that he needed to go to the hospital and go quick. After all is said in done - his cumadin levels are off and he has a major clot in his leg. He's still in the hospital and they're trying to dissolve it with Heparin and Cumadin. Hopefully it'll work and he'll go home in a lot less pain. Just in time for his next chemo treatment.

After everything was figured out on Saturday afternoon, we took the dogs for a walk down to the blues and BBQ festival at Olde NJ Ave and just chilled for a few hours. Pooka is NOT an active creature - she trudged along like a trooper but it was definitely not the highlight of the weekend for her - activity is NOT her strong point. She kept looking at us like "seriously I'm on this earth to be cute and useless please stop torturing me with this 'walk' thing" - it was adorable. She looked really hot at one point so we poured some water over her and she turned GREEN! It was so weird - apparently she's been rolling in the grass and needs a serious bath.

We took them home, drank a few on the porch, talked to my cousin Tony when he and his girlfriend came to get some of Uncle Jim's stuff for the hospital then went back down to the fest for dinner :) I LOVE brisket...and festivals, really - love them. Drinking on the street - climbing up on the sea wall - eating dinner outside - it really doens't get any better.

Sunday we went for a drive down to Cape May. It was awesome - the day was beautiful and the company was of course wonderful. I'm so used to doing these things by myself it was really nice to share them with someone else - especially because quite a few funny things happened - and it's nice if you're NOT the only one laughing because you're the only one who was there.

The weirdest was this guy who offered to have his wife take our picture in front of the Cape May Lighthouse. She came sprinting over, bike in tow - took the camera and layed down in the grass and kept shimmying backward in a crab crawl to try and get the "perfect shot"
One of these days I'll post it - we're in the bottom left corner on a 4x6 vertical print and we're only about 3/4 of an inch tall. But it's a great shot of othe lighthouse!

My new life...

So there's been alot of new developments in my life over the last two months. I finally have some help with the house payments and bills...no the Leprechaun didn't get a job...but we have a new roommate. A roommate that I'm planning on holding on to for a very long time.

Life has a funny way of working out - There's a man I've become very good friends with over the last 18 months that I work with. I've had a crush on him for a good while and I've recently found out that he felt the same way. I've been dating losers - as you all well know - and he was with someone else, so the timing wasn't right. Things changed and changed quickly all from one simple fishing trip. Who knew one night down at the jetty could change our whole world?

He left his whole life behind so he could be with me. It's not the perfect clean start that dreams are made of but it's an interesting story that will be fun to tell later in life. I'm not proud of the fact that I'm "that girl" but unless you were part of the situation it'll never really make sense to you and I'm not even going to try to defend myself. Sometimes things just happen. They knew it was coming and said as much when they broke up for good, she wished us luck (which I don't think I'd be able to do if the situation was reversed) and they parted on fairly good terms - especially considering the situation.

In the last few weeks I've actually been happy - and people are pointing it out to me - I'm in a good mood almost all the time - it's creepy for me and for others :) I've heard of you people who find that other person and it just goes well - I've never not had to do everything - having someone who wants to help me and just does things when they need to be done is a whole new world for me. Plus for the first time ever - I got flowers - for no reason at all - just because, and even better it was flowers I love. When I walked in the door from work there were a bunch of gorgeous sunflowers in a vase and a bunch of other wildflowers in another vase waiting for me. :) it was to much for me. I didn't know what to do-it wasn't to soften me up or because we had a fight or because it was some sort of anniversary - it was because...."I saw them and they were pretty and you deserve pretty things" yeah - no clue what to say.

So that's the story in a nutshell. I'm happy and I'm planning on staying happy.

When it rains it pours

So it's Sunday, the day of rest. We've had a busy week so we were looking forward to sitting and doing nothing today, maybe watch some movies that we're wanted to and just veg. Well, being as i've met myself I should know better, we said the above out loud (I know BIG mistake) around 4 hours ago. After that Mike decided to go down to check his email in the basement. Can you see what's about to happen? Yep i heard the words "Uh-Oh", followed by "Oh shit."

So apparently there's water, alot of water, in the basement. We're getting Lisa's Nor'Easter but with rain. I go through the files for the disclosure statement from when I bought the house 6 months ago and everywhere there's a water question it's an emphatic check mark of NO. Well to find the source of the water we hear running down the wall Mike takes off the paneling. yep - water coming THROUGH the wall. yay. .. Next panel comes off to see BLACK MOLD on the wall. Yeah.

Continuing... so now there's a small pond forming - 16 feet wide, the width of my house, and steadly gaining feet the other way - now to about 10 feet from the wall.So I'm now sitting in the living room, sopping wet b/c of the rain outside - nope the gutters aren't blocked - and crying. I'm not supposed to clean it up until it gets to the point where structural damage can occur b/c I now may have to go after the people who owned the house since it was built who lied about water. My previous house used to flood. I checked yes on EVERYTHING and explained what would happen. My parents used to flood - they also checked yes and explained what would happen. I could go on with every other person I have ever known who has sold a house that got water who checked yes but I think you guys get the point. I've about had it. These people didn't mention alot of little stuff that I've found and I've let it go, but this is my last straw. I want this fixed and I don't want to be the one to have to do it.

The realtor (one of my best friends) has been notified and she's trying to figure out what should be done. I've taken the requisite pictures and video with date time stamps for proof and will continue to take more. I am really started to hate the previous owner, I hope they have boils on their butts and can never sit down again.

So mike has $27 and we're going to leave and go eat something. His treat. When we come home, maybe we'll go for a swim.

ETA:- nevermind on the food. I have flat tire. My new, 6 months old, was my 30th birthday present, tires. Mike's changing it now in the pouring rain but we don't know about the spare - it's 7 years old, never been used - but still 7 years old. I tried to go out and help but I got yelled at. I think the crying may have had something to do with it.

Pooka bear

So I've apparently lost my mind. Today i brought home a new family member. I've been thinking about it for a long time, Finnegan has been lonely since Maggie moved and I decided that he needed a friend to keep him company and someone to play with. Especially because I'll be going back to work soon (i think) and after having me home for 7 weeks he's more attached than ever.

So today Princess Pooka came home to stay. I went to the shelter yesterday just to look and fell in love. So today I had the yard check done and tonight I went and picked her up. When we were on the way home we realized how bad she needed a bath - so if her day wasn't traumatic enough; she had to meet Finnegan and then get a bath - then i saw how messed up her fur was. So down on the floor with a pair of scissors for 3 hours to cut all the matted fur. Her ears were actually matted to her head. It was awful. She has to go to the groomers tomorrow to get her nails cut - they're too much for me to tackle - and she needs her teeth brushed.
She's about 6, was a stray and is the sweetest littel girl. They said she's a Bichon Frise/Poodle mix - but knowing the dogs I adopt we may never know what she really is. :) She let me cut all of her hair - Finn is completely against that - and then cuddled with me and the Finn on the couch. They seen to be getting along pretty well. He's still not sure what she's doing here but he hasn't bit her yet so that's good sign.

On the knee front I still can't walk well at all. It's getting really annoying. I can't get it to hold me up when i walk - it buckles constantly. It's exhausting to keep it from completely going out from under me, which I can tell when I am over tired because it does buckle and I go over. Luckily it's usually where I can catch myself. I am trying to get it to work properly but it's just not working with me. I want to just stretch out my leg but that hurts and the nerves are apparently reconnecting and that's bringing on a big old hurt too.

The good news is the kitchen is done and me and Mike figured out a good way to arrange the living room so that all the furniture is used instead of just most of it.

Plus something good just happened - my mom is the greatest! On Friday I get a new freezer. Oh and dad rocks too - he sent his own Easter card of cash seperate from mom's gift. Everyone should have parents like them :)

Six weeks later

I just got home from the doctor for my 6 week visit. He took x-rays and the bone is healed so I can take the brace off and start to build some strength. With that being said - I'm still not allowed to go back to work. Apparently he has figured out I have a tendency to push myself too much and he's quite worried that I will hurt myself by trying to do too much, he's right and we both know that – I'll do too much and wind up in bed for a few days b/c I overdid it.

I still have pain - if I sit longer than 20-30 minutes it gets pretty bad, I get tired very quickly when I am trying to do anything. I'm good for an hour or so but then I need to rest for a while to make the throbbing stop.

I'm still not released to go to PT. The main deal is I don't have much strength in my left leg and I am supposed to teach my self how to walk in the next few weeks so I can go to PT. All my therapy is still to be done at home, until I can walk with bending my leg and not falling over. The doctor said a month, I argued for 2 weeks, he said he'll see me in three, however if I think I can pull it off after two I'm to call him and he'll consider letting me go back to work then for shorter hours to start.

His major point that's making me listen (I know – I'm actually following advice) is that I'm 30 and if I don't take the time needed to let everything heal the right way and get the muscles strong I could hurt myself in the long run. I need to use this knee for the next 50 or 60 years and 2-4 weeks more for healing isn't that long when you think of it compared to years of pain I could cause myself

Knee-Day 18 & some other things

I obviously have nothing better to do than bitch and moan. I'm bored and I have abandoned my hobbies. TV as a whole sucks, movies are boring and my house is cold. ptttt. OK cranky part over.

I do have something happy to report. The temp handicapped parking pass came today and it's good until the end of June. At least now if I can fit my leg into the car to drive somewhere I won't have to park far. :) I do have to get to the grocery store at some point - there are two people coming for brunch on Sunday and of course the things that I want to make I don't have ingredients for. Plus it's an outing at the least.

Also, I need to get to Lowe's. I've decided to do some of the work in the kitchen since I'm stuck at home. As long as I can work in one hour increments I shouldn't exhaust myself too much and should be able to work sitting down on alot of it. The cabinets will be painted and I'm thinking of making some new knobs, the walls stripped and re-papered and painted (my house has at least 4 layers of paper on the walls and ceiling so painting is not an option.) I bought the new floor with part of my bonus back in November and it's just been sitting there taunting me ...so it's about time we get to work on it. I think if Mike and I work consistently we can get it all accomplished in the next few weeks. There's not alot of destructionl no new walls or any of my regular craziness, just knocking the "decorative" poles out and ripping the carpet up. I'll be recovering the chair seats, maybe repainting the table-depending on the paint cost, and maybe making new curtains.

Two other things happened in the last two days that made me feel completely loved and I'm unbelievably honored:) Yesterday my cousin Amy called, mother of my favorite short person, Sarah, and asked me to be the Godmother of my soon to be nephew! So come June I'll be the Godmother to Joseph Jack Klein!! I'm so touched. Then today my girl Karen called and asked me to be in her wedding next June!! Apparently there's a stipulation from her and Aaron - I have to bring the Flanigan as my date. I of course asked what if I'm in a serious relationship by then and after she was done laughing at me, she said they'd just have to add one. :) Plus (BONUS) she's picking the color and we get to pick the dress so there's a chance I won't look like a linebacker next to her size 0 sister! (love Annie but seriously - could she at least be a 2???)

The knee is getting there - by a week from Monday I'm supposed to have it bending to 90 degrees non weight bearing. The incision looks really good and I really don't think there will be much of a scar and Dr. Cautilli doesn't think so either. So now I just have to work on my bending.

Knee: Day 14

Today is the 2 week mark of gimpdom and I'm getting cranky. I don't like that I can't do anything for myself and now that I'm pretty much off the painkillers it's way more obvious to my non-foggy self.

I still really can't be left alone for any extended period of time. It's not really painful persay but more of a constant ache and majorly uncomfortable. Imagine trying to get through the day without bending your leg - now do it for at least 42 consecutive days - I'm only at 14 and i'm annoyed.

It's the little things. It takes a half hour to prepare to even shower. If I want to make a cup of tea I need to disconnect the ice from my leg which is down by my ankle, hook my hand into the velcro on the bottom of the immobilizer, then get the crutches, then pull myself upright with little weight on the bad leg, if i'm upstairs i need to get myself into the chair to go downstairs and make it to the kitchen. So mainly I just have to suck it up and ask Mike to do it. The sick part is this is getting around "good".

Finnegan is of course thrilled his mom is here all day but he doesn't understand why I can't play or let him out. His confusion is lessening but it'll be quite the adjustment when I go back to work for him. Poor little guy :(

Anyone that would like to give Mike a break from my bad attitude is welcome. Please call first and realize that within 30 minutes you'll be sick of me. Because quite frankly my attitude sucks, but I know it and I'm trying to work on it. If I snap at you or have snapped at you recently, I'm sorry just try to imagine how you would be dealing with this. Probably about the same.